Of Course Kurama's a Masochist
by NailPolishWearingAssassin
Summary: … But if Kurama’s the masochist of the group, then what’re the others?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Of Course Kurama's a Masochist…

Author: Nail Polish Wearing Assassin

Rating: Pg-13, for questionable language

Summary: … But if Kurama's the masochist of the group, then what're the others?

Disclaimers: I don't own any of it, though I would really like to.

Spoilers: None to my knowledge.

Author's Note: This just popped into my head one day, like most of my stories tend to. I thought it was funny, so I decided to write it down. First one-shot I think I've ever written before. I'm putting it up as an apology to the recent readers I have gained... looks like it might take more time than I thought getting the next chapter to my story up... if it takes too long, I'll post the prologue to another story, just to give them all something to read.

Oh, also, there is one or two places that I suppose _could_ possibly appear as KuramaXHiei, but I assure you that's not the case. Kurama's just getting really bad images from what happens to be implied by Yusuke.

And some of this might be slightly OOC, but I hope not too much so…

Of Course Kurama's a Masochist…

No one was quite sure how it had happened, but somehow the conversation between Yusuke and Kurama turned into a completely random, and slightly unexpected and unnerving, argument. Hiei sat on the windowsill of Yusuke's living room, trying to ignore his 'friends', while Kuwabara was laughing loudly from the topic of debate.

"For the last time, Yusuke, I am _not_ a masochist!" Kurama shouted, looking about as angry as he ever got. The black-haired teen just laughed at the redhead's threatening glare, even though Kurama could kill him at any minute.

"Yeah, right," Yusuke cackled, "If you're not a masochist, Kurama, then what the hell are you? I mean, come on!"

"Damn it, Yusuke, shut up!" the former-thief growled threateningly. Unfortunately, his choice of words only made things worse.

"Wow, Kurama, I've never heard you use those words before," Yusuke teased.

Now, all this bickering was grinding on Hiei's last nerve and he thought that if the pointless argument didn't stop soon, he might kill them all, Yusuke and Kurama for the main annoyance and Kuawabara for laughing at it like an idiot. And if he killed his 'teammates', then Koenma would send him to prison. And Hiei really wasn't in the mood to go to jail right now.

"Kurama," the half-fire demon spoke from the windowsill before the kitsune could make a comeback to Yusuke's previous statement, "You're a masochist. End of discussion." His words just made Kuwabara laugh harder, with Yusuke now joining him, and left Kurama completely speechless for several long moments.

"Do you even know what a masochist is, Hiei?" the redhead finally asked, with narrowed eyes.

"Yes," Hiei replied smugly, "Someone who achieves gratification by physical and emotional abuse, especially in sexual situations. Basically, you like you own pain."

"How do I fit into that category?" Kurama growled. Hiei didn't answer, but was smirking. It was pretty obvious that he had an answer, but wasn't in the mood to die by Kurama's hand by saying it aloud so Yusuke and Kuwabara could hear.

"See, even Hiei agrees! Like I said, you're a masochist, Kurama!" Yusuke howled, having a hard time breathing around his laughter, "And Hiei's a sadist. Put you two together and you get S&M!"

Kurama instantly went bright red. He couldn't believe Yusuke had just said something like that. The innuendo brought with it some pretty graphic visuals. He was frozen in place as his mind thought the same words over and over again: _Bad images, bad images, BAD IMAGES_!

Hiei, meanwhile, was quite confused. He knew what a sadist was, but had no idea what the phrase 'S&M' meant. He never liked being ignorant, so if he didn't know something he usually asked Kurama (telepathically if Yusuke and Kuwabara were in the room, of course, so he didn't look stupid). However, the look on the former-kitsune demon's face made him hesitate and seriously question if he actually wanted to know in this circumstance.

Still debating if he would ask Kurama or not, Hiei pretended just not to care about what Yusuke had said, "Hn, I'd rather be a sadist or a masochist than an idiot." He made a point to glare at a still laughing hysterically Kuwabara to emphasize who he meant.

It didn't take Kuwabara long to notice Hiei looking at him and the human instantly stopped laughing, trading hysteria for anger, "What're you implying there, shrimp?!" Yusuke was busy laughing now at Kuwabara having been called an idiot.

Kurama, finally finished being embarrassed, laughed, seeing how Hiei was quickly turning the argument in their favor, "Yes, I think much happier being a masochist rather than Kuwabara or Yusuke." Now this sentence managed to stop Yusuke's fun.

"Hey, I'm not a moron like Kuwabara!" the teen protested, causing his appearance-challenged friend to get even angrier in the background.

"I never said you were a moron, Yusuke," Kurama smiled, with a smirk in his eyes, "No, you're more of a kleptomaniac."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are, Yusuke. I don't see how you could deny it."

"I'm not a damn klepto!"

_Kurama, what's a kleptomaniac?_ Kurama almost laughed at Hiei's telepathic question.

_A kleptomaniac, or klepto for short, is someone who steals impulsively. They can't stop or help themselves_, he explained to his friend silently.

_I see_, Hiei nodded, before opening his mouth, "Detective, Kurama's right. You're a kleptomaniac."

"Do you even know what a klepto is, Hiei?!" Yusuke snapped, quickly turning to Kurama's previous tactics and frustrated that he was losing the verbal fight so easily when before he had been winning.

"Urameshi, you steal all the time! You can't honestly say you're not a klepto!" Kuwabara scolded.

"Fine, so I'm a klepto! So what? At least I'm not a moron like you, Kuwabara!"

"What was that, Urameshi?!"

"You heard me, baka!"

"Why you…!"

And so the fistfight between the two began, with Kurama and Hiei watching in amusement. After watching for a few minutes, Hiei finally resolved his internal conflict that had begun earlier.

"Kurama," he spoke aloud, since Yusuke and Kuwabara weren't paying the least bit of attention to them, "What's S&M?" Kurama quickly turned as red as his hair once again.

"… I-I'll tell you later, Hiei," the former kitsune-demon stuttered, trying to force the reddening in his face away and thinking of how he could get out of explaining this one to his friend.

Fin.


	2. Author's Note

For those of you who do not know what S&M is (as I have gotten many, many reviews from people who are curious and ask), I have decided to add a definition for you. I got this from Wikipedia:

**Sadism** is the sexual or social pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person. The word is derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade, a prolific French philosopher-writer of sadistic novels, plays, and a unique philosophical discourse that championed the inception and reception of extreme pain as an art form that to him was both sublime and beautiful. The counterpart of sadism is **masochism**, the sexual pleasure or gratification of _having_ pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure. The name is derived from the name of the 19th century author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, known for his novel _Venus in Furs_ that dealt with highly masochistic themes.

Sadism and masochism, often interrelated (one person obtaining sadistic pleasure by inflicting pain or suffering on another person who thereby obtains masochistic pleasure), are collectively known as **S&M** or **sadomasochism**.

So, now you know. Hurray!

Oh, and will update other stories shortly... I hope. Having issues...


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